hey all!
so as of tomorrow, August 17th my only sister will be moving into her college dorm.
basically i have two feelings about this…
and
so basically i am really not sure what to feel.
this is gonna be the first time i have been without her for more than two weeks, so basically its gonna be a HUGE difference for me.
so why am i happy?
because she’s going to a GREAT school (she’s going to USC film school!!). she’s living her dream by going to the best film school in the country that is so high tech and ahead of basically everything.
i am also happy because she won’t be too far, i mean she could have ended up in new york, but instead she will be attending the closest school that she applied to, (which by the way is only like 18 miles to drive to!)
i am also so happy to see her happy and with her people. i am also WAYYY happy because i got to help her put together stuff for her dorm, which is one of my favorite things (i will totally admit this!!)
so why am i sad?
well, like i said before, i have never been away from her for more than two weeks. so this is gonna be such a shock for my life.
when i was a little kid home alone i used to watch the tv, to keep myself busy. and whenever i would watch tv anyway i would always talk to my sister, whatever i saw that i felt like talking about in that moment. so when she was gone i used to talk to her like she was still there, even though she wasn’t just because i didn’t want to feel lonely.
i just feel sad, and lonely, i know i will feel lonely i mean we spent alot of time together. she drove me around and to school everyday and she was someone that i could always talk to and get a completely honest answer. like we would shop together and she would tell me all of her feelings, even though they might make me upset.
she is never afraid to show her feelings and i will really miss her and miss being with her.
so sadly the sad outweighs the happy, and of course i will miss her alot.
so to summarize my feelings i am sharing the song “one last time” from hamilton.
basically in the song, george washington is telling alexander hamilton that he is stepping down and not running for president for the third term. by doing this, he sets a precedent for two term presidents (and thats it!) so in the song, it uses the real lines of george washington’s farewell address and singing behind it. if you haven’t heard the song you really should give it a listen (and you can google it and find a live version too!) i think that listening to the song would give a great way to relate to how i feel right now. but also, the song is very poetic and really speaks to me in the moment.
i love the line from the song “teach me how to say goodbye”, and thats the line that i identify with at the moment. i want to say goodbye, but its going to be very hard for me, so i need my sister to teach me how to say goodbye, and learn that some goodbyes (even if only for alittle while) are necessary even if you don’t particularly want them to happen.
i know at the moment it hasn’t happened yet, but of course i had to put a hamilton reference in of course!!!!
well i hope that y’all enjoyed my post! comment if any of you all have dealt with any of this that you would be willing to share!
xoxo
(aka kate wins!)
